Real Talk: When Wedding Planning Feels Overwhelming (And What to Do About It)

There’s a moment that sneaks up on a lot of couples. You’re newly engaged, your Pinterest board is overflowing with ideas, and the excitement is real. But then the spreadsheets start. The budget talks.

The supplier calls. The opinions. The pressure. And suddenly, what felt joyful starts to feel... a little too much.

Here’s the truth: wedding planning can be overwhelming. Even for organised, spreadsheet-loving, mood-board-obsessed couples. And that doesn’t make you any less excited about your wedding—it makes you human.

As a wedding violinist who has performed at stunning celebrations all across the South West—from the Cotswolds to Somerset, Bath to Devon—I’ve seen what really matters on a wedding day. And I’ve seen how pressure can cloud the joy. So let’s talk about it.

Let Go of the "Perfectly Blissful" Myth

You don’t have to feel euphoric every second of the planning process. Weddings bring together money, time, family, identity, logistics—and that’s a lot. The idea that it should all be magical? It only adds guilt when it’s not.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself space to step back when needed. The occasional overwhelm doesn’t mean anything is wrong—it just means you care.

What’s Actually Causing the Stress?

Sometimes it’s not the planning itself that’s hard—it’s what’s underneath. Are you:

• Worried about finances?

• Feeling pulled in different directions by family?

• Anxious about how you’ll look or feel on the day?

• Nervous about it living up to expectations?

Naming what’s really going on helps you regain control. And from there, you can make clearer, calmer decisions.

You Don’t Have to Do It All Today

One decision at a time. That’s all. Pick the task that feels the heaviest and start there. Or go micro: reply to one email, book one thing.

Some couples carve out weekly planning time—just an hour or two—so that wedding chat doesn’t consume their entire lives. It gives the planning structure and breathing room.

It’s OK to Feel Big Feelings

Planning a wedding often brings unexpected emotion. Grief. Joy. Nostalgia. Family tension. Identity questions. It’s not just about flowers and favours—it’s about change, visibility, love, and letting go.

Make space for what comes up. Journal, talk it out, take breaks. You don’t have to hold it all in or smile through every second.

Boundaries Are Your Best Friend

You’re allowed to say no. To decline advice you didn’t ask for. To choose what aligns with you and your partner, not everyone else’s expectations.

That might look like:

• Setting “no wedding chat” rules with certain family members

• Being clear on who has decision-making power

• Saying no to traditions that don’t resonate

It’s your day. Protect it.

Let People Help You

You don’t have to be the CEO of everything. Let a friend manage RSVP spreadsheets. Let your sibling help with playlists. Hire a planner if budget allows—or assign trusted roles to people who want to support you.

When I arrive to play at a wedding, I always see the difference when couples have shared the load. They’re more relaxed, more present, more able to enjoy the music, the moments, and the magic.

Reconnect With the Why

Not the colour palette. Not the dress. Not the timeline. The feeling.

Why are you getting married? What do you want this day to feel like—for you, and for your guests? Write down three words. Joyful? Intimate? Meaningful? Use them as your compass.

Whenever you feel lost in the weeds, come back to those words. They’ll help you realign with what really matters.

You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind

What you imagined on day one might evolve. That’s OK. Maybe the big wedding becomes a micro wedding. Maybe the barn venue becomes a city hall. Flexibility isn’t failure—it’s wisdom.

You’re choosing peace over pressure. You’re making it yours. That’s brave.

When It All Feels Like Too Much... Pause

Close the laptop. Put down the colour samples. Go for a walk. Listen to your favourite music. (Might I recommend a little romantic violin?)

The planning can wait. Your well-being can’t.

Because at the end of the day, this isn’t about putting on a show. It’s about celebrating love.

And that? You’re doing beautifully.

Whether you're planning a countryside celebration in the heart of Wiltshire or an intimate garden ceremony in Gloucestershire, remember: it’s not about perfection—it’s about presence. One moment at a time.

Best wishes,

Laura